Spiritual abuse
A systematic pattern of coercive control and manipulation using faith, religion, or beliefs, resulting in shame, condemnation, fear, and confusion about one’s worth and standing with God.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery”
Examples of Spiritual Abuse May Include:
Manipulation or coercion to conform
Exploiting members for money or time
Censorship and silencing of questions
Demanding leadership approval for life decisions
Isolation from family or outside relationships
Misusing sacred texts to control or shame
Teaching that the leader has a “divine” or unquestionable position
Requiring blind obedience or loyalty to the leader over God
“If you leave here, you’re leaving God.”
“You’re out of God’s will if you question the leadership.”
“Touch not God’s anointed.”
“God told me to tell you…” (used as manipulation rather than encouragement).
“You’re rebellious and full of pride if you don’t submit.”
“Your feelings are sinful; just obey and don’t think.”
“If you doubt us, you doubt God Himself.”
“God will punish you if you walk away from this covering.”
“You owe your loyalty to this church because we gave you everything.”
“You can’t trust your own understanding of the Bible—only we know the truth.”
“If you were really saved, you wouldn’t question what we teach.”
“Your family/friends are a bad influence; you need to cut ties.”
“You’re cursed if you don’t give your tithe to us.”
“You can’t leave; the world is dangerous and you’ll fall into sin.”
“True Christians don’t talk about being hurt—just forgive and forget.”
“You’re not spiritually mature enough to hear from God on your own.”
Distorted Image of God
Spiritual abuse often warps how people view God, leaving them with false ideas such as:
God is never satisfied and always demands more.
God is vindictive, waiting to punish.
God is distant and uncaring.
God is powerless to stop the hurt.
God is moody or fickle.
The spiritually abused often have a distorted identity as a Christian
Not identifying as a new person in Christ
Confusion about condemnation and conviction. Condemnation is believing you are a bad, unloveable or defective human. Conviction is awareness of a specific sin leading to repentance and forgiveness.
Shame is the main motivation of behavior
A need to hang on to a negative identity
“Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence”
10 Signs You’ve Been in a High-Control Group
1. Questioning was not allowed.
Any doubt or disagreement was labeled as rebellion or sin.
2. Fear was used to keep you in line.
You were warned that leaving meant losing God’s favor, protection, or salvation.
3. The leader’s word carried more weight than the Bible.
You were told you couldn’t interpret Scripture for yourself and must rely on leadership.
4. Your identity was tied to the group.
You were valued only for how well you performed, served, or conformed.
5. Relationships outside the group were discouraged.
Friends and family were seen as “worldly,” “dangerous,” or a bad influence.
6. Excessive control over daily life.
Leadership dictated personal decisions like who you could date, marry, or befriend, and sometimes where you could live or work.
7. You felt constant pressure to “do more.”
Grace was replaced by performance—your worth depended on your effort, giving, or obedience.
8. Shame and guilt were used as tools.
Your failures were publicly highlighted or spiritualized as evidence of being “unfaithful.”
9. Leaving felt impossible.
The idea of leaving brought overwhelming fear, confusion, or guilt, as if walking away meant walking away from God.
10. You now struggle with trust and freedom.
Even after leaving, you find it hard to make decisions, trust leaders, or believe in a God who is loving and kind.
Note for survivors: If several of these signs resonate with you, it’s not your fault. These groups intentionally distort truth to maintain control. Freedom in Christ means grace, love, and safety—not fear or manipulation
Identifying Abusive Leaders or Groups
Authority is based on position or title, not godly character
Heavy emphasis on obedience and submission
Performance-based spirituality (“You’re only accepted if you do enough”)
Many unspoken rules—breaking them brings shame or punishment
Talking about issues or questioning leadership is labeled as rebellion
Extremes of spiritual claims (denial of the Spirit or false “visions”)
Leaders impose their burdens instead of offering grace and freedom
The group looks good on the outside but is impossible to leave
Isolation from anyone outside the group or “spiritual family
Discover the subtle ways Scripture can be distorted to manipulate and control, and learn how God’s truth always leads to love, safety, and restoration.
The Lasting Impact of High-Control Groups
Being in a high-control group doesn’t just affect what you believe—it impacts every part of your life and identity. Even after leaving, survivors often struggle with confusion, fear, and loss of trust.
Emotional & Mental Effects:
Constant self-doubt and fear of making decisions
Anxiety, depression, or panic attacks
Guilt or shame for leaving or “betraying” the group
Trauma responses (flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance)
Difficulty trusting people or institutions
Spiritual Effects:
Distorted view of God (seeing Him as harsh, distant, or controlling)
Fear that leaving means losing salvation or God’s favor
Trouble reading the Bible without fear or triggers
Feeling disconnected from prayer or worship
Believing God is angry or disappointed
Relational & Social Effects:
Loss of community, friends, and family connections
Difficulty setting healthy boundaries
Feeling isolated or misunderstood by those who have never been in such groups
Struggling with normal social interactions due to years of control
Practical & Life Skills Impact:
Lack of confidence in making daily life choices (jobs, money, education)
Having little experience with personal freedom, budgeting, or independence
Feeling “behind” in life stages (e.g., career, relationships)
The good news: Healing is possible. As truth replaces lies, survivors can rediscover freedom, rebuild trust in God, and regain confidence in who He created them to be.
📺 Recommended Resource: Understanding Spiritual Abuse
This video is not affiliated with our ministry, but it is one of the most powerful, insightful resources we’ve found for understanding spiritual abuse, high-control groups, and how Scripture is often twisted by abusive leaders.
🎙️ In this 4-hour interview, Naomi Wright shares her personal story of escaping a pseudo-Christian cult. With deep clarity and biblical grounding, she and pastor Mike Winger unpack:
13 categories of spiritual abuse
How Scripture is weaponized in controlling religious environments
Practical and theological steps toward healing and freedom
🧠 Whether you’re just beginning to question a spiritually abusive group or you’re in the process of healing, this video is a must-watch
Ziegler, T., & O'Reilly, S. (2008). The subtle power of spiritual abuse. Patrick Painter, Inc.
https://drsteveeichel.com/about-cults
Get Help
Resources
Characteristic Checklist of Cult/ High Demand Groups
https://drsteveeichel.com/about-cults
https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/
Information and Help
https://www.beemboldened.com/
https://spiritwatch.org/
https://www.gladstoneexposed.com/