Why It’s Hard to Leave

Leaving abuse isn’t simple. Survivors often face layers of fear, confusion, and practical barriers that make the idea of leaving overwhelming.

• Fear of retaliation or more violence – Abusers often threaten, “If you leave, I’ll find you,” and many survivors believe them.

• Financial dependence – Abusers may control all money, bank accounts, or job opportunities, leaving victims with little to no resources.

• Concern for children or pets – Many stay to keep the family together or because they fear losing custody or leaving pets in harm’s way.

• Hope for change – Survivors often remember the “good times” and believe the abuser’s promises that it will never happen again.

• Spiritual confusion or manipulation – Some abusers twist Scripture, saying, “God hates divorce,” or implying submission means enduring harm.

• Shame or fear of not being believed – Survivors worry they will be blamed or that others will side with the abuser.

• Isolation – Years of being cut off from friends, family, and outside support can leave survivors feeling like they have no safe place to go.

You are not weak for staying. Leaving abuse is complicated and dangerous. It takes planning, courage, and often help from people who understand

Create a Safety Plan

• Tell a trusted friend or counselor what’s happening

• Keep important documents and items ready

• Memorize or hide emergency numbers

• Have a code word with friends/family to signal danger

• Know your safest exit routes

Your “Go Bag” Checklist

If you need to leave quickly, pack and hide a bag where your abuser won’t find it:

• ID, Social Security cards, birth certificates

• Cash or prepaid debit card

• Spare keys (car, house, safe)

• Phone charger or backup battery

• Prescription medications

• Change of clothes and shoes

• Toiletries and hygiene products

• Small sentimental items (photos, jewelry)

• Emergency contacts list

What Happens When They Don’t Leave?

Staying in an abusive environment often leads to increasing harm—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even generationally. Abuse rarely stays the same; it grows more intense over time.

Emotional Impact

• Anxiety, depression, PTSD, or constant fear

• Feeling “numb,” trapped, or worthless

• Believing lies like, “I deserve this” or “I’ll never be free”

Physical Impact

• Injuries, chronic pain, or sleep problems from stress

• Higher risk of serious harm or death as violence escalates

• Health issues such as migraines, digestive problems, or weakened immunity due to ongoing trauma

Spiritual Impact

• Feeling abandoned by God or confused by distorted teachings

• Struggling to believe that God is loving and protective

• Believing false guilt or shame instead of embracing God’s truth and freedom

Impact on Children

• Children who witness abuse—even if they don’t see every act—are deeply affected

• They may feel fear, guilt, or blame themselves

• Behavioral struggles (anger, withdrawal, trouble in school)

• Higher risk of future abusive or toxic relationships if the cycle isn’t broken

Staying “for the children” often harms them more. They don’t just need a home with both parents—they need a home free from fear